Crushed.

Remember the other day I was blogging about how stepping out of my comfort zone has really brought me down? Well, This what happened: I joined a certain hunt (not gonna say what), did my intro video and all, had an email correspondence with the people in charge  and was pretty certain that things were looking good, and by this I do not mean that I was definitely selected but I pretty much got that impression.

I did my video and then I saw the other contenders’ videos and was totally upset about mine. Mine had no character, no style, definitely boring and so not me. I was sooooo nervous and I guess the nervousness came across in the video obviously.

So, I emailed the people in charge, hoping for a 2nd chance at my 1st video and they said I could do it if I wanted cos the company had already seen my video and my fate was pretty much decided (in a positive way.)

I finally did my 2nd video but only submitted it after giving much thought about the whole competition cos I guess I was going to be feeling shitty about it if I was ever to go through with it. But heck, I just sent in my video for what it’s worth.

I got no reply, or confirmation or whatsoever. I thought, ok maybe they need time. But hell no. When I just checked their website, it crushed me yet again.

I know it’s stupid of me to get my hopes up high, but it takes 2 hands to clap, if you know what I’m saying here.

For one, I really dislike non-replies. If you really do not want to use me or there has been a change in the people, at least let me know. I’ve been holding onto every single shred of hope, and to think that I was stupid enough to believe that I could be in the ranks of those people.

Let me make this clear, I am not angry with the company nor am I angry with the people in charge about what had happened. I’m angry and very upset about how it was being handled. And now, I’m really starting to think that I lost out to them because I do not have that upper hand of an accent. Call me sore, but now I know this is how the world works. Superficiality rules all.

But now this is behind me, I hope to look forward to many other things ahead. Or maybe afterall, this whole trying to be on the TV thing is not MY thing.